red flowers say love and warmth, yellow flowers say imtimacy and passion, self raising flower says 'bake me a f*cking cake now b*tch'
my wife told me 'smart men make great husbands'. I said smart men dont get f*cking married
yesterday, my sister walked in on me whilst i was undressing, it was an awkward moment for both of us, i didnt know she worked in a brothel
my girlfriend went down on me tonight, i must remember to get a puncture repair kit in the morning
My wife says she will kick me out if she finds out i have any 'skeletons in my closet' - but the jokes on her cos the kids in my closet are still alive
'will the parents of the 9 year old boy, who earlier fell into the lions enclosure, please pick his shoes up from lost property, thanks'
statistics say women think they are smarter than men for faking orgasms for the relationship. men say 'big f*cking deal, try faking the relationship just for the sh*g'
i live for sex . . . . . . unlike my victims, who have sex to live
lets all have a laugh
edit; obviously if mods think they have 'crossed the line', please delete