triggers broom Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 (edited) Surrounding area. You know (those that are old enough) the picturesque portrayal of Kent as the Garden of England in the Darling Buds of May? Remember? Del Boy and Catherine Zeta whatsname? Well this is not exactly like that. This is a slightly less scenic region with not so many apple orchards and a lot more piss stained mattresses lying outside the terraced houses. Indeed, about 4 years ago the Guardian (or was it the Observer?) voted us “England's crappiest football ground” in their survey. (Nice to win something). Worst ground In fairness the bits of the ground they didn’t like have gone, and the article focuses more on the actual surrounding area which is not exactly Alderley Edge but there’s not much we can do about that. Parking Priestfield is in the middle of a residential area a bit like at the start of Corrie. There is residents parking only within about 1/2 a mile in every direction and the wardens are very active on match days. There are a couple of matchday car parks near the ground. The closest is at the Sikh Temple (that's not a pub name btw) which is only 150 yards from the Livvy and the Away end. Parking The ‘away’ pub The Livvy (Livingstone Arms). Still regarded as the away pub. Contrary to another message board the police are not eager to shut the pub down on match days. It is of course handy for them to know where the main bulk of the away drinkers are and if the weather's decent and fans are drinking outside they (the police) will happily hang around and have a chat with you. The old landlady Michelle used to put spuds and sausages on the bar but I’m not sure if the new guv'nor (Mark) still does this as I get in at about 2:15 (Sat) by which time it had all gone anyway. They always have plenty of staff on pre-match so even if the pub is busy you won't wait long. The bar ceiling is covered in football shirts, some retro Gills, but mostly oppo, which have been donated by bladdered away fans in celebration of a victory at Priestfield (there are quite a lot). In fairness many of the shirts were yellowed with fag smoke and the new folk have redecorated. There are 4-5 tellys dotted around showing the early Prem/FA Cup game (Saturdays). The pub is just 200 yards from the away turnstiles. Mark is a decent fella who likes to look after the football crowd on a Saturday. The Morecombe lot thought he was great and wrote him up on their forum. The Livvy Grub There is one chippy directly opposite the pub and another chippy come kebabby just 40 yards down road towards the away end. The chippys are geared up for match days and if there are a dozen people queuing out the door, you'll still get your pie within 3-4 minutes. Away End It is a temporary affair the like of which you see on the 18th green at the Open. According to many visiting fans forum it will apparently fall down if you fart. It has been in place for at least 4 seasons and has yet to fall down. In this time it's highly probable that many fans have farted, especially Swindon who are very tatty folk. Notably last season, it was completely full of Villa fans who, when they scored from their dodgy penalty, started a mass bouncy thing in an apparent concerted effort to break the bugger. It didn’t flinch. As of this season you no longer have to share this stand with home fans. They have been moved elsewhere (unfortunately). Those who enjoy spending 90 minutes gurnning at oppo fans and giving the winker sign (you know who you are) now have to do it over the length of the pitch. However, your closest oppo fans are in the corner to your left, but it is the family stand so apart from the odd throwback you may experience little resistance. As reported there is no roof. Today it’s dry, Saturday? Who knows? If it does rain, the cabin attendants (or whatever we call the arseholes now) will wander along the front hurling free 'rain-macs' amongst you. These are of questionable quality and there is no known scientific instrument in existence that can measure material so thin. If as forecast, it is raining and a bit windy, please bear with us as marvel at your vain attempts to put these body-johnnys on. Given the inconsistency in the quality of the football of late, it is often the highlight of the day watching you lot struggling like a bunch of demented chimps to adorn your complimentary ‘anoraks’, only to emerge moments later, with something resembling a cling-film scarf flapping in the breeze. Please Note, adults should make a hash of their own rain macs before assisting children to make a hash of theirs. Opposite you is the Rainham End, traditionally the singers and the shouters. However, at the moment, unless we have just equalised against a Prem side in the cup (that’ll be twice in five years) we are taking a bit of time to get going. Sean Gregan either falling on his arse or diving for a penalty should help to get us warmed up. Singing/Chanting. Please do, but try not to spark up suddenly as this may startle the old folk in the Gordon Road Stand to your right and they might knock their flasks off their blankets. If you're struggling for lyrical inspiration, then the staples are generally, "You live in a caravan", "you're just a bunch of pikeys", or "the wheels on your house go round and round". If it helps we will feign surprise at your originality and clap you with the utmost sincerity. We may respond by suggesting you resume the seated position and refrain from continued chanting or we might just call you “dirty Northern barstewards”. Frankly creativity is a bit low at the moment. Stewards. Either totally ineffectual and invisible, or panic stricken over the top, “sit down, right I’ve told you once, you’re out” depending on the time of the month. Same for us come to think of it. Good news (for you) Ace hot-shot (who missed a pen on Saturday) Simeon Jackson who is being chased by every Premier and Championship side for around £250,000- £85M depending on which paper you read,will be absent on international duty with Canada. Also, inspirational skipper, defender and all round Jack Russell Terrier, Barry Fuller is suspended for tackling in the old fashioned way (repeatedly) :yellowcard: :yellowcard: Bad news We've borrowed a reserve striker from Man Utd by the name of Febian Brandy. Scored on his debut last week and looks a wee bit good. Enjoy the game. Safe trip down and up. Edited November 9, 2009 by triggers broom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Thanks for the local knowledge. How many marks out of 10 do I get for this? http://www.owtb.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=...p;hl=Gillingham Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triggers broom Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 Thanks for the local knowledge. How many marks out of 10 do I get for this? http://www.owtb.co.uk/index.php?showtopic=...p;hl=Gillingham Looks spot on. Better than mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Looks spot on. Better than mine. Cheers! That makes the effort worthwhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singe Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 (edited) Cheers Trigger, enjoyable reasd that, even for Kentish-based Man Latics fan. Luckily Sean Gregan and his arse will not be allowed to jump into the stand and celebrate our goals or the stand could be in it's first serious bit of trouble.. And the open stand, yes, I do remember a slighlty wet outing not that long ago that even hardened Oldham "4 flags 4 different directions" Athletic fans thought was a bit too damp and cold. THe weather looks as though it could be a bit wet again according to Kaddy , Edited November 10, 2009 by singe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorrro Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Excellent read, triggers broom. Cheers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opinions4u Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Is Kevin Maher doing much there? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
triggers broom Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 Is Kevin Maher doing much there? Nah not really. We were disappointed when he went to you guys having had a good spell on loan to us. In the close season he was one of the gaffer's main targets, perhaps because our squad is generally quite raw and he'd add experience. However, he's not really done the business and tends to come on as a late sub. Having said that, with the skipper out and a bit of a re-shuffle he may get a start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beag_teeets Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 That has put a right smile on my face, a decent footie fan who doesn't take it all so seriously. Good luck for Saturday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsslatic Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Entertaining write-up there triggers_broom, nice one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 And the open stand, yes, I do remember a slighlty wet outing not that long ago that even hardened Oldham "4 flags 4 different directions" Athletic fans thought was a bit too damp and cold. I remember thinking I was going to die... Initially I refused the plastic mack on the basis that a bit of gay Southern rain can't hurt me, only to be crying for mercy 15 minutes later and trying to get enough motion into my arms to get them through the sleeves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosa Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 i presume someone's contacted the OP for Interview With An Oppo Fan? i love the fact that you've taken the trouble to register on this board and posted a pretty lengthy well-written post to basically tell us "don't bother, our ground's a dump". we'd do the same but we're relying on away fans for a big proportion of our gate receipts at the minute... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlossopLatic Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Thats the best post by an opposition fan on owtb ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankly Mr Shankly Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Oh that Gillingham away trip in December 06. Great win. Socks were still wet through when we got back to Manchester Piccadilly at about 11pm. Spent a load of the journey trying to dry clothes out on the little hand dryer in the toilet cubicle. Gillingham used to have these lovely pies when I went in 2005. £3 they were, steak and ale and they were a bit larger than the average pie with lovely shortcrust pastry. Well disappointed after they went. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankly Mr Shankly Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Parking Priestfield is in the middle of a residential area a bit like at the start of Corrie video to Come On Eileen by Dexy's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futchers briefs Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Gillingham is remembered for me, a beautiful sunny day, a Chris Killen winner and a 1-0 win - oh and an 'episode' of soccer am earlier..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Oh that Gillingham away trip in December 06. Great win. Socks were still wet through when we got back to Manchester Piccadilly at about 11pm. Spent a load of the journey trying to dry clothes out on the little hand dryer in the toilet cubicle. Gillingham used to have these lovely pies when I went in 2005. £3 they were, steak and ale and they were a bit larger than the average pie with lovely shortcrust pastry. Well disappointed after they went. It wasn’t so much the heaviness of the rain that stuck in the mind (it wasn’t as heavy as the Brentford drowning) but the sheer variety, one second it was heavy drops straight down, then fine drizzle seeming to blow up your coat, then spitty stuff straight into the face, then all of the above at once. I felt like I was carrying half the Estuary back home with me. Shame they have moved their muppet choir, they were certainly good value for money in the comedy stakes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Markoasis Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I remember thinking I was going to die... Initially I refused the plastic mack on the basis that a bit of gay Southern rain can't hurt me, only to be crying for mercy 15 minutes later and trying to get enough motion into my arms to get them through the sleeves. There was no way I was wearing one of those. Remember in the pub after (whilsts sipping on a rather large double wiskey) getting several black bags from the bar staff to shove my 8 stone heavier flags in before I put them in my already wet bag (???). Missing out this year .................... I'll be at England v Australia in Leeds (Latics is never in the running when I comes to International RL and a chance to ACTUALLY win something) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Ritchie Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I'm off down are we expecting many? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorrro Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Even most of the OASIS contingent are giving it a miss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAV Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Even most of the OASIS contingent are giving it a miss Bunch of southern pansies,Let it rain........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forte_Baby Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Gillingham two years back was quality well apart from the game itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldhamSheridan Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 The wet game was quality. Warney's fist punches when coming off. Gregan doing one of the best bits of skill I've seen since we went down to this godforsaken division (Defender closing him down, slides in on him - probably trying to mutilate him - Gregan kicks it one side on walks around the other side of him. Then strutts off up the pitch). It was a bit damp though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Ritchie Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 So am I off down on my Athleticown then (I've even talked a City fan into turning up)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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