creepy Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 a latics fan has gone on the rampage in Cumbria after he found out Paul Dickov is going to be the new manager (i know, i know) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creepy Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Full time in the prostitute killer second division : Ipswich 5 Bradford 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldhamSheridan Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 What made him do it? Did he plan it? Was he a madman? Did he plan to cause so much heartache to so many innocent families and leave behind 12 stiffs before taking the cowards' way out? Only Rafa Benitez can answer those questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 What made him do it? Did he plan it? Was he a madman? Did he plan to cause so much heartache to so many innocent families and leave behind 12 stiffs before taking the cowards' way out? Only Rafa Benitez can answer those questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Paddy and Murphy were talking one afternoon when Paddy tells Murphy, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii .. I went to Hawaii and Molly got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas and Molly got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darn me, if Molly didn't get pregnant again." Murphy asks Paddy, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?" Paddy says, "This year I'm taking Molly with me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bring Back Ronnie Moore Posted June 12, 2010 Share Posted June 12, 2010 I had tortillas for dinner yesterday. As a way of celebrating Mexico's world cup participation. To celebrate Nigeria tonight, there will be no dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted June 12, 2010 Share Posted June 12, 2010 (edited) englands goalkeeper tonight.. Edited June 12, 2010 by boboafc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downender2 Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 What have Robert Green and Nelson Mandella's granddaughter got in common? They both have seen their last world cup due to poor handling. ain't it a pity John Terry didn't shag Robert Green's missus.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldhamSheridan Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 Rob Green has trained today and in 3 hours he had 4,000 shots fired at him and did not concede a single goal. Tomorrow, him and Heskey will train with the rest of the squad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klow1 Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Knorr have released a special edition Red and White striped Oxo cube to celebrate England's world cup campaign. It's called the Laughing Stock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted June 19, 2010 Share Posted June 19, 2010 ALERT ALERT ALERT ALERT #### police in south africa are urging people to be on the lookout for some missing animals, apparently 11 donkeys have gone missing, if seen return to england Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjk2008 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him. "No", he says. "The seat is empty". "That's incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event in football, and not use it?" "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but sadly she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been together for since we got married". "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that. But couldn't you find anyone else to take the seat? A friend, relative or even a neighbour?" The man shakes his head, "No, they're all at the funeral" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 World Cup 2010 - Holders Italy crash out :laught16: :laught16: :laught16: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your shopping in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sjk2008 Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 How do the police know Raoul Moat had dandruff? They found his head & shoulders in the trees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldhamSheridan Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank" or "bring Joe Cole on;" f*ck off. You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting "f*ck her up the arse." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohican Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downender2 Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 How To Shower Like a Woman Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas. How To Shower Like a Man Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohican Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time. Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!! Its actually...Leave wet towel on bed...preferably on her side.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hometownclub Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 To all those women who watch the football and shout "pass it to Frank" or "bring Joe Cole on;" f*ck off. You didn't see me at Sex And The City 2 shouting "f*ck her up the arse." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 Sorry if its been repeated, Got a South Africa mate who is dyslexic , Got into trouble for blowing a Zulu's vulva Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 (edited) Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" Edited July 23, 2010 by boboafc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 (edited) You missed the punchline, Bob... shall I fill it in for you? Edit: Bugger. Edited July 23, 2010 by garcon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted August 2, 2010 Share Posted August 2, 2010 And for those watching in black and white, Alex Higgins is the one lying next to the hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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