razza699 Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Since he arrived in the UK from his homeland of Italy in September last year, he has fast become a new figurehead for footballing buffoons. He is a real idiot's idiot: a man-child who makes the antics of Wayne Rooney and the rest seem so parochial and narrow-minded by comparison. Swearing on telly? Shagging your best mate's girlfriend? Pah! Crude, childish horseplay to Balotelli. This season he has been 1. Sent off, 2. Been caught fighting, 3. Professed to have an allergy to football pitches and 4. Been fined repeatedly for misbehaviour. After all this we might have expected him to push the boundaries of unpleasantness further by, say, killing a dog, filling it with massive, ethically unsound diamonds and wearing it as a hat while he moonwalked on to the field of play, laughing hysterically and licking blood from his hands. But, you see, that is just the sort of thing his public would have expected from him. And Balotelli is anything but predictable. Giving a wad of cash to a homeless person is exactly the sort of counter- intuitive behaviour he specialises in. No one expected him to 1. Trespass in a women's prison with his brother for a bit of a laugh. But last October, while recuperating from an operation back in Italy, that's exactly what he did. 2. No one expected him to chuck darts at youth team players out of a window at Manchester City's training ground last month either, but he did that too. He blamed both incidents on boredom. See what I mean? He is an imaginative idiot. His brain is curious and enquiring, always seeking out new ways of being massively stupid. And that's what separates him from his dreary idiot-contemporaries, who are happy to play it safe with their predictable acts of street-brawling and incessant adultery. According to the Sun's source, this was not the first time he had committed an act of charity. "Mario is really generous," they said. "He always hands £20 notes to the Big Issue boys without even taking the magazine." Hear that? Without even taking the magazine. Sounds like the sort of thing Jesus would do, right? Well, the Big Issue people would probably lecture him about the importance of giving homeless people a hand-up rather than a handout. But Mario wouldn't listen. As far as he is concerned there are only two ways of doing things: the Mario Balotelli way and the wrong way. It would be useless to point out the fine line between sincere acts of charity and self- aggrandising acts of vulgarity. Like so many of his contemporaries, he is seemingly imbued with superhuman self-belief and a cast-iron sense of entitlement. He isn't guaranteed a starting place in the Manchester City team and is yet to establish himself as an international player, but this is what he has to say about his professional status: "There is only one player who is a little stronger than me: Messi." He is just as comfortable with his wealth. When he wrote off his sports car in Manchester shortly after arriving in the city last year, attendant police officers searched him and discovered £5,000 in cash hanging out of his back pocket. Asked why he was carrying such a sum, Balotelli shrugged and said: "Because I am rich." Nobody can control him. His exasperated manager Roberto Mancini has commented: "Every day I fight against Mario and sometimes I would like to give him a punch." Mario's response? "He couldn't. I do Thai kick-boxing." There are tiny hints of vulnerability behind the bravado. He has complained of being homesick for Italy. Last month, millions watched a heart-rending YouTube clip of him struggling to pull on a training bib during a pre-match warm up before losing his temper and instructing a member of the coaching staff to do it for him. It was almost poetic; a poignant encapsulation of this young man's inability to navigate himself through the daily challenges presented by a cruel universe without seeking refuge in rage and indignation. Liam Gallagher recently said of him: "Mario's smart, I like the way he's a bit of a headcase." And so the torch was passed from the previous incumbent to the next: Britain has its new Idiot Laureate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pukka Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 The story about him going to that lads school to mediate with a bully was a decent story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted May 11, 2011 Author Share Posted May 11, 2011 The story about him going to that lads school to mediate with a bully was a decent story. Roberto Mancini has commented: "Every day I fight against Mario and sometimes I would like to give him a punch." Mario's response? "He couldn't. I do Thai kick-boxing. that particularly made me chuckle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Ritchie Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 What did the police expect him to say when they asked him why he had loads of money on him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stitch_KTF Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I jam off Super Mario. If we're going to have Premiership stars private lives shoved in our face 24/7 then let's embrace the few who actually provide antics worth talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stitch_KTF Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 Super Mario Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slystallone Posted May 11, 2011 Share Posted May 11, 2011 I jam off Super Mario. If we're going to have Premiership stars private lives shoved in our face 24/7 then let's embrace the few who actually provide antics worth talking about. I like him too. He’s a like a Man-Child. Wind him up & let him off; see what he does next. Plus – he has sported the best hat I’ve ever seen anyone wear; and he did it when cameras were rolling! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/manchester-city/8216398/Is-Manchester-City-striker-Mario-Balotellis-chicken-hat-a-fashion-own-goal.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted May 11, 2011 Author Share Posted May 11, 2011 I like him too. He’s a like a Man-Child. Wind him up & let him off; see what he does next. Plus – he has sported the best hat I’ve ever seen anyone wear; and he did it when cameras were rolling! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/manchester-city/8216398/Is-Manchester-City-striker-Mario-Balotellis-chicken-hat-a-fashion-own-goal.html anyone whose on my facebook will see ive got that hat on in my profile picture Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted May 12, 2011 Share Posted May 12, 2011 I'd not heard about him breaking into the women's prison! I'm surprised he didnt pull up his shirt to reveal a, "for the bull-dykes," t-shirt. He is definitely at the right club. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Burns Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 hes a legend Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 hes a legend http://bleacherreport.com/articles/719775-mario-balotelli-10-reasons-why-he-is-the-most-entertaining-man-in-soccer/page/2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Burns Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 love him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 http://www.epltalk.com/mario-balotelli-backheel-flub-ends-in-substitution-for-city-video-33199 :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Nah, I'm going to defend him there - he thought he was offside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Share Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) Same, Also Mancini subbing him made the situation worse, he should have just ignored it then bollocked him behind doors at HT Im loving how much he is riling United fans aswell Edited July 27, 2011 by razza699 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevie_J Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Could this guys existence get any more surreal - fireworks? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosa Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 The property, in Mottram St Andrew, Cheshire, sustained serious fire and smoke damage, and the police were also called – in part to ensure Balotelli did not go back into the house. The striker is said to have been reluctant to leave his belongings and, at one point, to have run back inside to recover a quantity of money and a suitcase. The police had to be called to restrain him from running into a fire. I don't generally read footballer autobiographies but, even at the age of 21, i'm really looking forward to him bringing a book out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opinions4u Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Loving the "why always me?" celebration! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) Manchester United 1 Manchester City 6 Edited October 23, 2011 by boboafc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosa Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) Loving the "why always me?" celebration! You have to admire the enterprising spirit here. Wasted no time. http://www.nevercaptainnickybutt.com/2011/10/balotelli-why-always-me-t-shirt-for-sale.html Edited October 23, 2011 by rosa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlossopLatic Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Apparently the odds of City beating United today were 6/1 according to Wayne Rooney's Dad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshOWTB Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Loving the "why always me?" celebration! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted October 24, 2011 Share Posted October 24, 2011 fegie seen in manchester this afternoon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 His effigy has been chosen by the Edenbridge Bonfire Society as its celebrity Guy for Bonfire Night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 His effigy has been chosen by the Edenbridge Bonfire Society as its celebrity Guy for Bonfire Night. bloody hell some efforts gone into that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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